Kiwi expats living in Bangkok will be able to relate to some if not all of the following (and yes, the list has been compiled by a Kiwi)…
The ‘Piss Head-Sheep Shagger’ Conversation
Any Kiwi in Bangkok (and anywhere else in the world for that matter) will revel in telling you of the joy of partaking in the ‘piss head-sheep shagger’ conversation with an Aussie. It’s an entertaining chat that only a Kiwi and an Aussie can truly appreciate, one that usually takes place in a pub and one that never fails to entertain anyone within hearing distance.
The ‘piss head-sheep shagger’ conversation is all in good fun, and is a colourful display of the friendly rivalry Kiwis and Aussies share. The concept isn’t too difficult to grasp and centres around Kiwis’ affinity for shagging sheep (according to Aussies) and Aussies’ fondness for drinking copious amounts of booze (according to Kiwis).
…And The ‘Sweet As’ Banter Between ‘Cuzzies’
That same Kiwi in Bangkok will also tell you how choice (cool) it is to shoot the sh*t (talk) with another Kiwi using some good ol’ Kiwi slang and lingo. This can be a particularly intriguing and at times incomprehensible conversation to anyone else who may be listening.
It’s likely to include such phrases as “Bro (good friend) this place is chocka (full) tonight. I’m knackered (tired) from making my way to the bar. Still, no worries cuz (friend / bro) ‘coz this is a sweet as (cool / awesome) place.”
Shopping For Marmite And Kiwifruit
Kiwis with a Marmite habit and perhaps the odd hankering for some kiwifruit will probably at some stage compare the prices here in Bangkok to back home in New Zealand. Here’s the rundown:
A 250g jar of Marmite in a Bangkok supermarket Bt305
A 250g jar of Marmite in New Zealand Bt100 (approx.)
Kiwifruit in a Bangkok supermarket Bt19-29 each
Kiwifruit in New Zealand Bt100 kilo (approx.)
Watching Karl Urban As ‘Bones’ McCoy
Kiwis who happen to be movie-buffs and Trekkies can bore their mates silly by telling them again and again that the iconic character of Dr. Leonard ‘Bones’ McCoy has been reprised in the Star Trek reboot by New Zealand’s very own Karl Urban. His performance in the role originated by DeForest Kelley has been widely embraced by the Star Trek community for its faithfulness to the spirit of Kelley’s McCoy.
Oh yeh, and Urban also starred as Eomer in The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, as the legendary Judge Dredd in Dredd and in The Chronicles of Riddick, Doom, Pathfinder, The Bourne Supremacy, Priest and Red. Many Kiwis will also remember his TV roles in Hercules: The Legendary Journeys, Xena: Warrior Princess, Shortland Street and Shark in the Park.
Urban was also speculated to have been one of several actors being considered for the part of James Bond in Casino Royale, a role that eventually went to Daniel Craig.
Making The ‘How Bizarre’ Song Request
There’s a certain national pride in asking the DJ at whatever Bangkok party you’re at to play the 1996 hit How Bizarre from OMC. Named one of the greatest New Zealand songs of all time by the Australasian Performing Right Association, this funky sing-along theme went to number one in New Zealand, Australia and numerous countries across Europe and the world, and reached number five in the UK Singles Chart. In the US, How Bizarre spent 32 weeks on Billboard’s Mainstream Top 40 chart, peaking at number one in August 1997 and making OMC the first Kiwi artist to reach the number one spot in a Billboard chart. In 2002, How Bizarre featured as number 71 on the 100 Greatest One-hit Wonders hosted by William Shatner.
What does OMC stand for, we ask all non-Kiwis ask? Otara Millionaires Club – a tongue-in-cheek reference to the Auckland suburb of Otara’s status as one of the city’s least affluent areas.
The Return of 10-Year Passports
Kiwis needing to renew/replace their passport, whether doing this online or through the New Zealand Embassy in Bangkok, will once again be issued with a 10-year passport.
Following the September 11 terrorist attacks in the US, the New Zealand government reduced the validity period of an adult passport to five years. The move was unpopular with many travellers and so after reviewing security procedures and taking into account public sentiment, it brought back the 10-year passport in late 2015.
Claiming Middle-earth Heritage
The Lord of The Rings and The Hobbit movie trilogies were filmed in New Zealand and if you ever run into a Kiwi in Bangkok who tells you they’re from Middle-earth, this is why. Ever since The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring hit movie theatres in 2001, New Zealand has been known as the ‘Home of Middle-earth’.
The country’s stunningly beautiful scenery made for an enchanting Middle-earth and still today there are various activities and attractions themed around the movies that can be enjoyed, such as Hobbiton set tours and Middle-earth inspired tour itineraries like A Halfling’s Ramble (7 days) and Elven Magic (14 days).
Hosting The Quintessential Kiwi BBQ
The great Kiwi BBQ is a national institution in New Zealand and if you hear of a Kiwi in Bangkok who’s throwing a BBQ, make sure you get invited. The steaks, the sausages and the burger patties sizzling away on the grill, the delicious wafting aroma of potato salad, the slices of buttered bread waiting for you to pop a piping hot sausage between them and splat on some tomato sauce, the stubbies (cans of beer), wine cooler, soft drinks for the kids and the contented chatter among everyone at the BBQ… it’s all part of the experience.
Like we said, hear of a Kiwi BBQ taking place and you wanna be there.
Knowing The Localised Names Of Your Restaurant Grub
Dine at Kiwi restaurants like Snapper New Zealand on Sukhumvit Soi 11 and Kai New Zealand on Sathorn Soi 12 and the menus include particular items with local place names and other references that probably only a Kiwi would know.
We’re talking about dishes like NZ Manuka Smoked Mussels, NZ Southern Hake (fish), NZ Nelson Bay Scallops, NZ Tarahiki (fish and chips), Wild Kai Moana Supreme (pizza) and Kiwi Pavlova (dessert).
The Kiwi Sports Pub & Grill on Sukhumvit Soi 8 is another popular Kiwi hang-out, and where sports fans can appreciate the plenty of flat screens showing sport like rugby, soccer and cricket.
Cheering On The All Blacks
You didn’t really think we’d have a Kiwi list such as this without including the All Blacks, did you? Cheering on the All Blacks at their local sports bar in Bangkok is a favourite pastime for many an expat Kiwi. But OK, we will keep this short… just a few of the facts.
The All Blacks are the most successful international rugby side of all time. They are the first national side to win 400 Test matches, they have won 10 of the 16 Tri-Nations trophies, all three of The Rugby Championships and held the Bledisloe Cup for 13 years (2003-2015).
The All Blacks are also the first to have won the Rugby World Cup three times including two consecutive times, claiming the title in the inaugural 1987 event, in 2011 and in 2015.