Author : Lee Ah-Rin (March 8, 2017)
“Thai-Buzz” is a column that translates articles of diverse topics from Thailand’s biggest community sites and discussion forums. Topics on these forums range from restaurant reviews, lifestyle-related questions, to advices on love. They may or may not directly involve foreigners, but hopefully these will give you some insights on the topics being discussed among Thai internet users and on Thai culture. Furthermore, these opinions are in no way representative of our website as we simply translate what people posted.
OP: What do you guys think? I don’t like people paying for me. “Date” for me is sharing. You pay for movies, I pay for food. I feel like it’s better than having the other person paying alone. I am willing to do this, and feel more comfortable. What do guys think about girls like this?
1. Feels unfair to me. If I love her, then in the beginning I should be the one paying for her. Do you love that person and does that person love you? If you love each other then just have a conversation about splitting halfway. For me, when I invite her somewhere I’ll tell her upfront like my budget today is 2,000 baht, what do you want to do today? And if it goes over that, then she’ll pay cuz broke 555
1-1: Such great thinking. I like how you just tell her your budget ka. Very manly.
1-2: My boyfriend is just like you, telling me the budget 555 But usually we split since we’re both still in school. Even with a job it’s still not enough to pay for someone. I think this kind of relationship is comfortable.
1-3: My boyfriend used to do this at first too hahaha we agree beforehand who pays for what.
2. Neutral ka. I don’t feel like splitting has any special meaning. For me, since birth to dating to marriage, guys pay for most stuff and girls pay a little. For example, if a guy buys a full meal then I might pay for some snacks. If the guy pays for movies, then I’ll pay for popcorns. If he picks me up, then I’ll help pay for toll. I do this naturally without prior agreement or anything.
This is not being stingy or selfish, but it’s a personal technique in practicing gender roles. I’m not a hardcore feminist; I embrace the fragility of being female while not taking advantage of others nor letting myself be taken advantage of.
But I don’t appreciate petty men who must split even 1 or 2 baht. If it’s too burdensome then just stay single.
Sometime I feel really thankful to the guys in my life after reading some of these forums. There’s so much more to relationships than having to demand financial fairness.
It seems hard for girls these days, guys have so many conditions: splitting evenly, no dowries, have to help with work. If you have a rich boyfriend, then people think you’re a gold digger. If this world only has cheap, selfish, petty, men, then do I still want a relationship?
But I guess having these kinds of men in the world is good too, since it makes me feel lucky and love my husband more.
3. Splitting is good. When you breakup the other person can’t say things like I always pay for her, she never helps blah blah blah. At first they are all good, then they’re all a**holes towards the end.
4. Why don’t you just pay for the guy then? Why share? If you’re the one who invites him out then you should be the one paying. I’m living my life, you invite me but I have to pay too? Nonsense. If I don’t come, then I don’t have to pay, but I came because she invited me. So of course, she has to be responsible for everything because I’m not paying a dime.
4-1: Too muchh, I’m scaredddd
4-2: Do you have a girlfriend yet? If not, stay single. I feel bad for whoever dates you.
4-3: Don’t ever have a girlfriend. I feel bad for her, terrible thinking.
4-4: Don’t ever date, scaredddd.
4-5: This kind of thinking shows your selfishness. Sigh, don’t ever date. Feel bad for that person.
5. The world has changed. Each person has their own jobs, so of course they need to help each other pay. It’s a 4.0 generation ja.
6. It’s fair.. but also depends on the occasion. Usually on special occasions, the guy has to pay for everything.
7. If I ever have a girlfriend, I would want one with good thoughts like OP 5555
OP: If possible, I want to meet a guy with a thought like yours too 5555
8. You’re arrogant. When a guy asks a girl out, it means he wants to take care of you. Wanting to split bills, just go with friends then.
9. I used to be like this.. but as time passes~~ the guy slowly pays…slowly until he doesn’t pay at all 5555555 **tears in the 5**